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From the far end of the bar, there is the sound of champagne popping. The seminar is hosted by Seeking (formerly Seeking Arrangement), a dating website launched in 2006 to broker relationships in which one person (typically a young woman) provides companionship to another individual (usually an older man) in exchange for material benefits.
It’s called sugaring, and if the definition sounds vague to you, that’s by design.
Meanwhile, Instagram influencers use their personal life to market products as a full-time career; Kim Kardashian has leveraged her intimate relationships, sex appeal and personality to build a 0 million empire.“I just think of it as a side hustle,” says Dani, a 24-year-old sugar baby who prefers to “freestyle,” meeting her daddies at bars or restaurants rather than on an app.
“I like the freedom it gives me to concentrate on school and my vanilla life.” Dani is based in California, and is studying fashion design and merchandising.
The site says the average sugar baby collects ,800 a month.
On and off Seeking, there are sugar mommies with male sugar babies and LGBTQ sugar relationships.
But the archetypal sugar baby (which I’ve focused on in this piece) is a young, heterosexual, student or professional woman who uses sugaring to feel less financially precarious—or enjoy a higher standard of living—while largely avoiding the stigma and legal risks of sex work.
“Even though in everything else I’m dominant and hustling, I like sometimes being able to chill and feel like I’m being taken care of.” Her mother always worked, she notes, but her dad never once let her take out her wallet.
It’s the first snowfall of the season, and class is about to begin in the low-lit lounge of the Nomo hotel in So Ho.
Women in their twenties mill about, nervously chatting each other up between hors d'oeuvres and sips of white wine.
“I still like that sort of traditional dynamic,” she says.
To her, empowerment in 2019 means “owning what you want, demanding what you want and getting it, whether that’s choosing to be in the passenger seat or choosing to be in the driver seat.”Rachel, a 49-year-old sugar baby (whom I meet up with separately from Seeking), says she is using the extra funds she makes sugaring to contribute to her retirement fund.
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(Like most of the women I interviewed, Courtney asked to be identified by her first name only.)Joy, 30, says a former sugar daddy “wasn’t interested in providing money, but in giving experiences.” He sent her on a dozen lavish trips abroad, with whomever she pleased. And then we’re going to Paris next year.” Ava, 24, expects a monthly allowance “around $2,000, depending” for an ongoing, intimate relationship.