Black athletes dating white woman dating for money

Despite all the odds stacked against them, they get the money, the cars, the house, the success. Which leads to the third reason—how femininity is constructed in America.

Femininity in a nutshell is crafted to be complementary, but not equal to masculinity.

We have no choice but to demand what is ours and to speak up on our own behalf; because, we are not typically seen as the ideal woman or ideal person deserving of anything; we have to work.

We are not seen as something to work for like other women. We don’t match the profile and we couldn’t if we wanted to.

For instance, one of the ways used to keep black men down was the idea of their perpetual boyhood.

In the Jim Crow south, a 16 year old white kid could see a 56 year old black man and say, “boy what are you doin in my neighborhood,” and the older black gentleman had to answer as respectfully as possible (assuming he didn’t want to be lynched or otherwise punished).

I hated Walter because of his erratic behavior—particularly the way he talks to his mother—but Lorraine Hansberry had to craft him that way to show how desperate he was and how stifled he felt by society.

Walter was being eaten alive inside because he felt like he could be doing so much more for himself and his family, if only he were granted an opportunity.

This version of gender roles particularly appeals to the emasculated black man who subscribes to hegemonic masculinity; because, if in society you can’t be a man, but you have the status to choose to be the man at home, and you’ve been taught to seek a very particular kind of woman, who are you going to choose?

The first reason successful black men may be inclined to date white women is because America is a patriarchy, essentially meaning that men are in charge.

Black men have been taught that they are supposed to be leaders and providers in their households and in their communities, but their blackness, historically speaking, overrides their maleness in many ways.

The second important reason is gender conditioning, specifically hegemonic masculinity, more or less meaning dominance over women. They are supposed to be tough, not back down from challenges, not sissies, and a whole host of other things, but here’s the kicker: hegemonic masculinity was never meant for black men.

If you are not a young, wealthy, white man, then hegemonic masculinity is not for you, in theory or practice. So they are being actively taught and subscribing to hegemonic masculinity when hegemonic masculinity was never meant for them.

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