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The more I learn about Judaism, the more it feels like another home I’m building around myself.
I do think it’s easier to go from faith to faith than start shul shopping with someone who thinks All Religion Is Bullshit — and it’s definitely easier to explain conversion to my godless friends.
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That being said, Tinder is overrated: There are the ads, the inability to swipe backward, and almost The Dating Pool: I give it a four out of five on a REALLY good day, but most days it’s a one.
The Date: I’ve had quite a few bad dates, but one of the worst began on a high note. I’m old-school, and I love it when they aren’t afraid to be old-school too. After pulling my hand away a few times and a few back-and-forth rebuttals, we finally decide on an overrated café in Santa Monica.
So this date starts by him calling and saying he’s going to pick me up and take me out (YAS, finally a man with a plan). I give him detailed directions on how to find me, he gets lost, and Until I find my hand suddenly being rubbed against his face—why, I do not know. He insists on hanging out longer after eating, but I make him walk back to the car.
The rituals, traditions, and the emphasis on family, love, reflection, and support give Judaism all the comforts of faith without the negative social and political connotations. His rabbi and I have discussed whether it’s harder to give up lifelong family religious traditions or to give up something you’ve discovered and nurtured entirely for yourself.
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Supervised by multiple therapists, the visit was an unmitigated, over-mediated disaster that left each of us feeling like his addiction was our individual faults. My parents, furious with me for suggesting as much, went home to D. The Jewish people I know aren’t expected to answer for their culture’s more extreme sects the way I am. He came with me to Bel Air Presbyterian on Easter, his first time ever inside a church.
(I can only imagine how bad it is for Muslims.)So it was little wonder Bobby came out about his own faith to me early on. I just assumed you were, you know, neutral.”We’ve been dating now for a year. During the service he stared straight ahead in silence and then afterward ate two frosted doughnuts end to end as if keeping his mouth stuffed to avoid talking.