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What about when you think about the word “compromise?

When you think of the word “sacrifice,” what comes to mind for you? But it also comes with a general feeling of sadness and defeated resolve.As you can imagine, I got a lot of questions and was privy to a lot of personal stories.Most of all, and heartbreakingly so, participants frequently asked, after listing out their partner’s behaviors, if I could tell them if they were abusive.Are they saying that their jealousy is just a flaw of theirs that you’ll have to learn to love, that they only get jealous because they love you, that their rage is your fault for not being sensitive to that, in hopes that you’ll stop hanging out with your ex? Today, I want to talk about unhealthy relationships – relationships that may not necessarily entail abuse, but that are painful and confusing.Because when your partner manages to change your behavior – when you find yourself increasingly changing your usual way of being in order to avoid conflict with your partner – then they gain power and control over you. I want to talk about toxic relationships – so called because instead of nourishing your growth, as a relationship should, they slowly wither you away like poison in your system.

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I used to work as a domestic violence prevention educator.

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